Herbs to Heal Our Hearts
Plant Allies for Grief and Remembrance
It is October — the month of falling leaves, thinning veils, and ancestral remembrance. A time when we are invited to sit with mortality, to honour our beloved dead, and to notice where grief still lives in our own bodies.
And grief is not only personal. Many of us carry sorrow for the world — for species disappearing, forests burning, oceans choking, and the quiet ache of climate grief. We grieve for the loss of futures that feel uncertain, for communities fractured, and for the suffering caused by war. Wherever war burns, death and displacement ripple outward, touching even those far from the battlefield.
Cosmically, it is also a highly emotive season. The dance of planetary alignments presses on our inner tides, urging us to feel what has been tucked away. So be gentle with yourself. Let the tears fall when they need to, and know that nature offers us green allies to hold us steady, grounded, and open as we move through the waves.
In this article, I’ll share some of my favourite herbal and culinary ways to tend the heart during this tender season. Below, I’ll share some of my favourite herbal companions for healing the heart. But grief is never only of the heart — it touches the lungs, the intestines, the kidneys. Grief is a full-body experience. So let’s begin with the heart, and ripple outward.
The Heart: Rose & Orange Flower
When grief breaks open the heart, we may feel it as a physical ache in the chest, heaviness in the breastbone, palpitations, or simply a sense of being fragile and raw.
Homemade Turkish Delight
Ingredients:
400g sugar
300ml water
1 tbsp lemon juice
30g cornflour + ½ tsp cream of tartar, dissolved in 250ml water
1 tsp rosewater
50g chopped pistachios (optional)
Icing sugar to dust
Instructions:
Cook the sugar, water, and lemon juice until syrupy.
Slowly whisk in the cornflour mixture and stir on low until thick and glossy (about 1 hour).
Stir in the rosewater and nuts, then pour the mixture into an oiled tin.
Once set, cut into cubes and dust with icing sugar.
A sweet bite of comfort, infused with the spirit of the rose.
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🌹Rose has long been the queen of heart medicine — softening sorrow, soothing heartbreak, and reminding us of beauty even in pain. In Persian tradition, rosewater is poured into sherbets and sweets to sweeten grief; in European folk medicine, rose petals were steeped in honey to comfort the bereaved.
Gluten-Free Greek Almond Biscuits with Orange Flower Water
Ingredients:
200g ground almonds
100g sugar
2 egg whites, lightly beaten
1–2 tsp orange blossom water
Instructions:
Mix ingredients into a sticky dough.
Shape into small rounds, bake at 180°C for 12–15 minutes until golden.
As they cool, the scent of orange flowers fills the air — a gentle balm for a grieving heart.
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🌸 Orange Flower Water - In Mediterranean and Middle Eastern cultures, orange blossom water is a symbol of purity and renewal, used in both weddings and mourning rituals. Its fragrance uplifts the spirit, calms a racing heart, and restores a sense of lightness.
The Lungs: Melissa & Nettle
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, grief is said to lodge in the lungs. Anyone who has cried deeply knows how grief takes the breath away — sobs that seize the chest, sighs that won’t release, a lingering tightness or cough that follows sorrow.
Melissa Tea
Ingredients:
1–2 tsp dried lemon balm (or a small handful fresh leaves)
250ml boiling water
Honey to taste
Instructions:
Pour boiling water over the herb, cover, and steep 5–10 minutes.
Sip slowly, inhaling the citrusy fragrance as you drink, letting it open the lungs and lighten the mood.
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🌿 Melissa (Lemon Balm): Called the “gladdening herb,” lemon balm is a gentle ally for heavy chests and low spirits. Its lemony brightness helps to expand the breath and soften the edges of sadness.
Mineral-Rich Nettle Infusion
Ingredients:
25g dried nettle leaf
1 litre of boiling water
Instructions:
Place nettle in a jar, pour over boiling water, cover, and steep 4–8 hours (overnight is best).
Strain and refrigerate.
Drink a cup daily — deep green nourishment for lungs and life force.
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🌿 Nettle: Strengthens when grief has drained our reserves. Mineral-rich and fortifying, it nourishes blood and lungs, restoring grounded vitality when sorrow leaves us depleted.
The Large Intestine: Chamomile & Rosemary
In Chinese medicine, the large intestine is paired with the lungs — both are organs of release. When grief stagnates here, we may feel blocked, unable to “let go,” both physically and emotionally. Anger often entwines with grief in this place, tightening the gut, creating indigestion, or leaving us restless.
Chamomile Healing Bath
Ingredients:
2 large handfuls of dried chamomile flowers
2 litres of boiling water
Instructions:
Steep flowers in boiling water for 20 minutes, strain, and add to your bath.
Sink into its golden embrace, allowing the steam to carry away heat and grief.
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🌼 Chamomile: The quintessential comforter, softening tension in both belly and spirit. Especially when grief carries anger or agitation, chamomile cools the fire and soothes the gut.
Rosemary Soda Bread (Gluten-Free)
Ingredients:
250g gluten-free flour blend
1 tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt
1 tbsp chopped fresh rosemary
250ml buttermilk (or plant-based milk
1 tsp lemon juice)
Instructions:
Preheat the oven to 200°C
Mix dry ingredients, add milk to form a dough,
Shape into a round,
Bake at 200°C for 25–30 minutes.
The fragrance of rosemary rising from the oven is both grounding and heart-lifting.
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🌿 Rosemary: Known as the herb of remembrance — “there’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance,” wrote Shakespeare. While often used for nerves and circulation, its astringent tannins also tone and heal the gut, easing grief that knots the stomach.
The Kidneys: Borage & Withania
When grief endures, it can sink deeper — to the kidneys, the root of vitality. Here it becomes not only sadness but fear: fear of loss, fear of death, fear of our own fragility or the mortality of loved ones. To live with such fear takes courage, and certain herbs are known as companions for bravery.
Borage Tea
Ingredients:
1 tsp dried borage (or a few fresh flowers)
250ml boiling water
Instructions:
Steep 5–10 minutes.
Its subtle cucumber-like flavour refreshes, while its medicine emboldens.
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🌿 Borage: The old English saying goes, “Borage for courage.” Its starry blue flowers were once floated in wine before battle, to strengthen the spirit. Today, borage tea or tincture can ease exhaustion and bring lightness where fear weighs heavily.
Ashwagandha Moon Milk
Ingredients:
1 cup milk (cow’s or plant-based)
½ tsp ashwagandha powder
½ tsp cinnamon
1 tsp honey
Instructions:
Warm gently, whisking until smooth.
Drink before bed as a tonic for courage and rest.
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🌿 Withania (Ashwagandha):An Ayurvedic rasayana (rejuvenative), Withania is deeply strengthening, building resilience in body and spirit. When fear of loss saps vitality, it helps us feel more alive, rooted, and capable of facing life’s uncertainties.
Cacao: Medicine for the Grieving Body
No exploration of grief medicine would be complete without cacao. Known as “the food of the gods,” cacao has been revered for millennia as a plant teacher of the heart — softening sorrow, lifting heaviness, and bringing us back into connection with life.
When grief touches the heart, cacao helps us feel safe enough to open again. Its theobromine stimulates gentle circulation and joy, reminding us that love is not lost but transformed.
When grief constricts the lungs, cacao’s warm, expansive nature deepens the breath, softening the chest and allowing emotion to flow with greater ease.
When grief stagnates in the intestines, cacao’s bitter magic stimulates release, helping us let go — physically and emotionally — of what no longer serves.
When grief depletes the kidneys, and fear gnaws at our core, cacao restores courage. Rich in magnesium and grounding minerals, it steadies the nervous system and replenishes vitality, giving us strength to face the unknown.
Cacao does not numb grief. Instead, it creates a sacred container where we can sit with sorrow and find sweetness within it — remembering that even in the deepest mourning, love still flows.
Rose-Kissed Cacao Elixir
Ingredients:
5–30g ceremonial cacao, chopped
250ml hot water (or half water, half plant milk)
1–2 tsp rose syrup (or rosewater + honey)
Pinch of cinnamon or cardamom
Optional: tiny pinch of sea salt to enhance the flavour
Instructions:
Whisk cacao with hot liquid until smooth and frothy.
Stir in rose syrup and spices.
Drink slowly, with intention, breathing deeply as the warmth spreads through chest, lungs, belly, and kidneys.
This is grief medicine in a cup: grounding, uplifting, and heart-opening — reminding us that we are never alone in our sorrow.
Closing Blessing
Grief is universal. It is the price of love, of caring, of being alive in a changing world. Grief is a teacher as much as it is a weight. It strips us back to what matters, softens us to compassion, and deepens our roots into the living Earth.
But it does not have to break us. With the support of our plant allies, with every cup of herbal tea or fragrant edible, the plants remind us that healing does not mean forgetting — it means carrying our love forward in gentle, nurturing hands.
May you find courage, sweetness, and peace in every cup, every breath, every bite. 🌿
And if your heart is tender, your breath tight, your spirit weary, know that you are not alone. I am here for you. You are welcome to join me and benevolent beings in ceremony, to sit with the warmth of cacao and soothing sound of the gongs, or for a more personal experience, a restorative 1-to-1 healing session held with care and reverence.
With love,
Sorrell 🌿
