The Joy of Solitude and the Healing Power of Sacred Connection

I am almost 53.

One month to go until my birthday… and I am still healing.

I have invested over 35 years of my life in therapy — sometimes searching for myself, sometimes training to serve others. In that time I have learned many things. But perhaps the most powerful lesson has been this:

Healing is not about fixing what is wrong.
It is about learning to love what is already here.

Self-acceptance changes everything. It changes the nervous system. It changes the way we relate to the past. It changes the way we inhabit our own spirit.

My deeper journey began years ago with a psychosynthesis therapist who also practiced EFT — Emotional Freedom Technique. In our sessions we would tap, and I would repeat:

“Even though…(fill in the gap with something you feel/think) I love and accept myself.”

Over and over. For years.

And yes — it changed me.

But here’s the truth: self-acceptance is not a one-time revelation. It unfolds in layers. And even now, at almost 53, I am discovering new parts of myself that deserve tenderness.

Most recently — my inner introvert.

She is a quiet soul.
She prefers the sound of wind in trees to conversation.
She loves early morning beaches where the horizon holds no other human form.
She finds restoration in gardening, painting, walking alone, and listening deeply.

She does not enjoy loud rooms.
She is not a party person.
She tolerates small gatherings — especially when the people are thoughtful and kind and understand the sacred art of listening.

For years, I didn’t realise I was quietly shaming this part of myself.

That awareness came when I read Quiet by Susan Cain — a book I originally bought to better understand my daughter. Through her research, Cain describes how extroversion became the cultural ideal, while introversion was subtly reframed as something to overcome.

And I recognised myself.

I had been performing extroversion.
Showing up when I didn’t want to.
Masking.
Forcing energy outward that was not naturally mine.

It was exhausting.

Giving myself permission to be introverted has released an extraordinary amount of energy. And in accepting myself, I have also more fully accepted my daughter — who shares this quiet, observant temperament.

What Introversion Really Is

Let’s be clear about something.

Introversion is not shyness.
It is not social anxiety.
It is not a flaw to be corrected.

It is a nervous system orientation.

Introverts gain energy from solitude. They process internally before speaking. They tend to prefer depth over breadth, meaning over noise. They often listen more than they talk — and when they do speak, it carries weight.

Many introverts are deeply observant. They notice nuance. They think before they act. They are often quietly creative, strategic, and capable of sustained focus.

And here’s something we don’t speak about enough:

Many introverts are extraordinarily successful.

Albert Einstein was famously contemplative, spending long hours alone with thought experiments that reshaped our understanding of time and space.

Rosa Parks was not loud or theatrically charismatic — yet her quiet refusal altered the course of civil rights history.

Brené Brown, who openly identifies as an introvert, built a global body of work on vulnerability and courage through deep research, reflection, and a willingness to sit with uncomfortable truths.

Steve Wozniak preferred engineering and thoughtful creation to the spotlight, shaping technology that transformed modern life without seeking centre stage.

Even leaders like Barack Obama have spoken about their need for quiet reflection amidst public life.

Introverts are not absent from the world.

They shape it.

They build it from the inside out.

They lead — not always from the front of the stage, but from clarity, insight, and depth.

And perhaps this is why so many are drawn to spiritual work.

Because the shamanic path is not about performance.

It is about listening.

Listening to the land.
Listening to spirit.
Listening to the subtle movements within your own psyche.

It is a path that honours the inner world as much as the outer one.

Where Solitude Meets Sacred Connection

For a long time, I believed that if I just had enough solitude, enough insight, enough discipline — I could heal alone.

But here is what life gently taught me:

Even introverts need others.

We need mirrors.
We need perspective.
We need someone to help us see the places we cannot see ourselves — our blind spots, our shadow, our forgotten strengths.

I learned this most clearly when I trained as a hypnotherapist. I began that training somewhat rebelliously — after three disappointing therapists in a row. I thought, rather naively, that I could bypass the need for others and simply heal myself.

But healing does not work like that.

We cannot see our own shadow clearly.

Sometimes we need another pair of eyes — a steady mirror — to reflect us from a different perspective, revealing our blind spots and quietly reminding us of our gifts.

Solitude nourishes us — but relationship reveals us.

And this is where sacred companionship becomes medicine.

This is where The Shaman’s Way holds such quiet power — not by overwhelming you, not by forcing disclosure, but by offering a steady circle or a trusted guide who walks beside you as you unfold.

For the Quiet Ones

If you are introverted… hesitant… unsure about group work… I see you.

The Shaman’s Way comes in two containers.

1-2-1 Shamanic Apprenticeship

This is the most intimate path.

It mirrors how I began — apprenticing over several years with my teacher, assisting in her workshops, and eventually stepping into her London clinic.

One-to-one work allows for depth, spaciousness, and privacy. It moves at your rhythm. It is powerful and personal.

There is no rigid curriculum and no pressure to become anything in particular. Instead, there is a living menu of ways we can work — ritual, journeying, ceremony, energy practices — all shaped around where you are on your healing path.

This is not primarily a training to become a practitioner, although for some it may naturally open that door. It is, first and foremost, an exploration of the shamanic arts as a way of remembering yourself.

Our work is inspired by medicine wheel teachings from several traditions — northern Native American and First Nations lineages, the Maya of Central and Southern America, and Celtic and broader European earth-based wisdom streams. These currents meet and weave together naturally, creating a coherent and beautiful framework for the work we do.

It is steady.
It is respectful of your pace.
And it is deeply rooted in relationship — with the elements, with spirit, and with the quiet unfolding of your own becoming.

The Shaman’s Way – 13 Moons (Beginning March 20th, Spring Equinox)

This path meets once a month, on Fridays, in a circle of no more than eight people.

And yes — I genuinely believe this is a safe and beautiful container for introverts.

Eight is small enough to feel held.
Small enough for bonds to form naturally.
Small enough for silence to be welcome.

After a few gatherings, something subtle happens. The circle becomes a sacred hoop. The support of the group is not loud or overwhelming — it is quiet, steady, present in the background of your life. And once a month, we step back into the fire together.

The path itself is gentle.

This is not a dramatic, cathartic, ego-shattering journey. It is a path of grace and ease. It unfolds like an early morning beach walk — empty horizon, rising sun, waves slowly meeting the shore.

Profound? Yes.
Forceful? No.

We work with the medicine wheel. With nature. With spirit. With grounded practices that support real-life: families, work, and responsibilities.

Transformation does not have to be painful to be powerful.

It can be kind. It can be spacious. It can feel like coming home — and if you have been waiting for a path that honours your nervous system as much as your spirit, this may be it.

The Resistance Around Money

Let me speak to something else I know many of you are feeling.

Financial hesitation.

It is real. And it deserves respect.

When we invest in healing, we are not only spending money — we are saying yes to change. And that can feel vulnerable. It asks us to value ourselves. It asks us to trust the unfolding.

There are different ways to walk this path.

The one-to-one apprenticeship is, by its nature, a deeper personal container — and a significantly higher financial commitment. It is bespoke, private, and intensive.

The Shaman’s Way circle offers access to the same core teachings and medicine wheel framework in a shared, held space — at a fraction of that investment.

And for the next two weeks, I am widening the doorway further.

I am offering a reduced rate for those who feel the call to begin in March but are holding back.

Not because this work is worth less.

But because sometimes timing matters. Sometimes courage needs a small bridge.

If you have been circling this path…
If you have felt the quiet pull…
If you are telling yourself, “maybe next year”…

Pause.

Where will you be in one year if nothing changes?

And where might you be if you walked deliberately toward your own becoming — supported, guided, and held?

Sometimes the greatest cost is not the investment we make.

It is the growth we postpone.

A Gentle Path, Still Profound

I am still healing.

I will always be healing.

Not because I am broken — but because growth is alive.

If you are introverted, sensitive, thoughtful… this path was designed to honour all humankind along with nature. We make space, especially for the quiet ones, the deep feelers and thinkers, the ones who appreciate a beautiful sunrise.

You do not have to become louder to walk The Shaman’s Way.

You simply have to commit to loving and accepting more of yourself.

If that resonates, I would love to walk beside you.